


Strength in Difference

by Galactica_Brit



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 12:46:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6424723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galactica_Brit/pseuds/Galactica_Brit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starbuck and Tigh find that a torturous experience at the hands of the Cylon's forges a bond of steel. Post LDYB2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strength in Difference

The rescue mission had finally started. Days of waiting for confirmation of the exact location, days of frustration and worry and fear of failure had finally ended. The sacrifice of the Pegasus to destroy the Cylons basestars had only happened 6 days ago but already it felt like 6 years.

The crew from the Pegasus that had managed to transfer to Galactica in the final moments did not celebrate the victory, nor the retreat of the Cylons from New Caprica. Instead they mourned those souls who had sacrificed everything to stay on the Beast and ensure its final mission was a success. And then, on finally being reunited with long lost friends back on the surface, they learned of the oppression imposed by Cylon rule for the past 6 months. And for three men in particular, any joy at reunions was put on hold because for them, the people they most wanted to see, were nowhere to be found.

Instead, Saul Tigh and Kara Thrace had managed to find themselves prisoners of the Cylons, taken away two months ago after a resistance sabotage mission went wrong and they sacrificed themselves to make sure the other six saboteurs could get away.

Sacrifice seemed to be a trait of the ex-Galactica crew.

Laura Roslin had taken the responsibility to tell the men what had happened. As soon as the Adama's and Helo had emerged from the congratulations and thanks of the mass populace of New Caprica City, Chief Tyrol had led them to one side into the school tent where Laura waited for them. After sitting them all down she explained what had happened and why exactly Saul and Kara were not in the welcoming committee.

She spoke of the sabotage mission that was supposed to blow up the Cylons "re-education" centre and of how no-one had known at that time that Gaeta was actually collaborating with the Cylons and had told them of the plan. No sooner had the raiding party entered the basement than centurions had trapped them all inside. In the panic Starbuck had taken charge and ordered everyone out the back tunnel. As they one by one squeezed down the disused sewer pipe Starbuck had disappeared back into the dark corridors of the basement setting charges and shooting down any centurion she encountered. As she came back to the sewer pipe there was Chief, Cally, and Tigh left. Knowing the Cylons were hot on her heels and bound to capture them all any second she kissed Tyrol on the cheek, told him to get Cally and the baby out, get Tigh out, get himself out and don't look back.

The Chief knew she was giving herself up, his heartbroken expression as he hugged her close betrayed his knowledge that he couldn't save her and his pregnant wife both. Without another glance she bolted out of the room to draw off the Cylons, shooting all the way so they didn't miss her trail.

Tyrol had turned to wave Tigh into the pipe, but the Colonel had a glint in his eye. He shook his head, a rueful smile as he lay his hand on Tyrol's shoulder.

"Can't let her have all the fun Chief, you get on out and get everyone else home safe. I'll go get Starbuck. Leave a candle burning for us!"

Tyrol could only watch in wonder as Colonel Saul Tigh ran off into the darkness after his nemesis. Maybe the world really was ending this time, hell had surely frozen over.

No-one had seen the Colonel or Starbuck since Tyrol and Cally had watched helplessly as they had been hauled out of that basement, bound and hooded, and thrown into the back of a non-descript van. The fact that Boomer and Leobon had done the dragging filled the newlyweds with utter terror and dread.

When Laura finally fell silent all three men were silent. And then the rescue mission planning started. Two months was a long time but no-one dared voice the widespread belief that Starbuck and Tigh were already dead. Instead every favour was called in, every double agent was threatened to within an inch of their lives, and somehow, eventually, they'd been given the location of the Cylon detention centre. Turned out the toasters had built a labyrinth tunnel system under the forest in the wilderness outside the city within which was a detention centre, apparently only housing the two resistance members at this time but with plans to expand.

Though the Cylons had now retreated from the city is was clear they had not retreated from this facility. Getting in, finding the prisoners and getting out again was not gonna be easy, but there was no shortage of volunteers. In the end a small raiding party was decided on, and the Gods themselves could not have kept both the Adama men and Helo off it. When Doc Cottle also demanded a place it took everyone by surprise, the gruff doctor though had a well hidden fondness of the blond pilot and he knew, as did everyone, that if she and the Colonel were alive, they were gonna need medical help as soon as possible. So he was on the team. Add in Hotdog, Racetrack and the Chief and off they went.

The entrance to the tunnels was well hidden, but poorly guarded. One quietly dispatched Boomer later and they were in the tunnels making swift progress to the centre. Once there they encountered more Boomers and a couple of Dorals, all mercilessly dispatched by well honed shots through the forehead. Finally, keys taken from one of the Boomers, they were inside the detention centre.

The cold, damp walls gave away no secrets, and no noise. The group split into three to search for the prisoners, Lee and Helo took off to the left, Hotdog, Racetrack and Chief to the right, Bill and Cottle dropped into the lower level.

The dim strip lights in the lower level made navigating the rough ground slow down the two experienced men, and when they reached the last of six solid doors they were beginning to think nothing lived down here. But, as they slid back the hatch in the top of the door and shone their light into the pitch black cell both of them took a step back and a deep breath before looking at each other with surprise and fear then once again looking into the cell to make sure the light wasn't playing tricks on them.

But, sure enough, in the back of the cell, laid against the wall was Saul Tigh, bruised, bloody and tattered. That they expected, but the fact that he was wrapped around an equally bruised, bloody and tattered Kara Thrace was not a sight you saw everyday. It only seemed like yesterday that they were at each others throats, pushing each others buttons all over the Galactica. Something had obviously changed in here.

Starbuck was foetal, her head lying on Tigh's left arm as he wrapped it round her to rest on her collarbone. Her left arm clutched her knees to her body, her right arm clearly broken was cradled against her chest, held there by Tigh's other hand.

As the light shone over them they saw Tigh's eyes open, squinting as the torch beam landed on him and then they heard him, his voice rough and painful to hear,

"Leave her alone this time, you take me, you hear me, leave her alone". His tone was dull, resigned, like he said this over and over.

Unable to bear the thought of what had brought them to this Bill threw back the bolts and opened the cell. The smell of unwashed bodies, blood, and something not quite identifiable hit both men as they paused momentarily before entering. Bill shone the light on himself and the Doc before pointing it at the ceiling to provide light but not accusation.

"Its ok Saul, its me, its Bill, we're here to get you out. Its over now."

Slowly he knelt in front of them, eye to eye with Tigh who suddenly had wet eyes.

"I thought you'd died old man. I thought we'd died." His gaze dropped to the unconcious woman in his arms, not lifting from her face as he spoke,

"Damnit, she needs help Bill, I cant keep her awake anymore. Its too much, she's taken all she can I think. I don't know what to do anymore."

Cottle dropped to his knees as well, his horror at the state of both of them pushed deep inside, his gruffness coming to the front,. His defence against any emotion.

"Damn kid, never was one to make an effort."

He slowly, with more care than Bill had imagined started to prise Tigh's grip on her.

"Its ok Colonel, let her go now, lets get her flat out so I can fix her up so we can get out of here."

Bill helped steady Tigh as he unwrapped himself from Kara

"That's it Colonel, slowly does it, ok, lets help her onto her back Bill."

Tigh piped up, reaching for her arm,

"Careful of her arm Doc, its been broken for a week now."

Cottle's hands skimmed over her prone form checking for more breaks, stopping now and then to probe a nasty bruise or a deep laceration, as he worked he questioned Tigh,

"Anything else than the arm I need to know Colonel?"

Tigh looked crestfallen, he choked on his words, the tears clear in his throat.

"That shoulder's dislocated as well, I couldn't get it back in, her wrists and ankles are a mess, and they, they…..I cant…"

Bill had never seen Saul like this, he didn't know quite what to do, so he followed his heart and slipped an arm around his shoulder while his best friend quietly broke down into sobs.

"Its ok Saul, its ok, you've done ok".

A flash of anger,

"No. Damnit Bill I've been so far from ok. Frak. They raped her Bill. They beat her, they humiliated her, and they raped her. Over and over. And I couldn't stop them. I pleaded with them. Can you believe it? I begged them Bill. I was useless, and I couldn't even help her pain afterwards. Gods….she has to be alright Doc, you have to make this right"

Bill's heart was breaking for both Saul and especially Kara after this revelation, but even as he tamped down his own horror he saw Doc's pause as Tigh had explained what had happened, saw the momentary slip in the Doc's tough exterior, and then saw the barrier go back up as he finished up his preliminary exam of her.

As he started to splint her arm to make it safe to move her, she woke up. No bleary eyed stumble into consciousness, she came to with a full blown scream and an aborted attempt to punch whoever was holding her but she tried it with her broken arm, forgotten in her sudden wakefulness, and her howl of pain as she clutched at the arm was heartbreaking for the men in the room, and for the rest of the rescue party who had received Cottle's earlier call and had just reached the cell.

Lee was first in, crashing to a halt as he took in first Saul, then Kara as she tried in vain to scramble back into the far corner of the cell.

"What the hell…."

He was ignored though as Cottle tried to reach for her. He had no luck, each time he reached out she'd kick his hand away, her startled eyes searching the room, not registering the faces of her friends. When she recognised Saul her gaze fixed, the look of fear and desperation nothing new to him as he slowly approached her, calming her as he extended his arms to her, reaching to draw her into his chest.

"Shhh, come on Starbuck, you're ok now, its over, come on..shhh, that's it"

She burrowed into his chest, her broken arm cradled between them, her sobs loud and clear in the room. Lee shot his dad a look,

"Dad, what's going on…."

Doc cut in.

"OK, lets clear the room. Give me a minute to fix her arm and we're going, we have to get them both out of here, and do it now"

Bill herded the others out of the room, silencing their questions with a raised hand.

"Lets give the Doc a minute then go. We've found them, they're gonna be ok, lets leave it at that for now. We need to get out of here, then we'll figure out how we can help them, ok."

And so it was that a short time later a much calmer Starbuck limped from the room between Doc and Tigh, though everyone noticed how she didn't look up at anyone once. Doc spoke to tell everyone to back off, give them room and save their questions for back in the city. His warning glare got them moving.

Getting out was easier than getting in as no-one wanted to stop for anything, stealth was kept up until the last few moments when an all out fire fight erupted. Hotdog and Racetrack, both still in shock at seeing the invincible Starbuck totally lose it, took out their confusion and hatred on the Cylons. In minutes it was over, the rescue party had fled back to the city and the Cylons were left to rue their security.

As they reached the city Saul kept a firm grip on Starbuck as the others ran interference with the crowds. He could feel her shaking as she practically melded herself with his side, see how she kept her head down, and could hear her soft whimpering. After two months in a cold, dark, quiet hell this sudden influx of noise and movement and people was too much.

He felt exposed and lost and could only imagine how much worse this was for her. He knew the shame she felt, the self loathing, the disgust. He felt it to, but they had taken things one step further with her, done things to her and forced him to watch. Tried to break them both by breaking her. He was amazed to realise it had the opposite effect. Despite her best attempts to shut him out he'd managed to get thru to her and they'd begun to rely on each other in that hell, Saul didn't think he'd ever felt to close to anyone his entire life.

The irony hadn't been lost on either of them that the Cylons had managed what no amount of time on the Galactica had managed, it had gelled them as a team. Only he knew that it wasn't a fair team, he'd suffered his fair share of the beatings, but only she had been so personally tortured, so brutally violated, so exposed to their torturers, and to him. Afterwards she'd admitted that having him watch was the worst, but when he refused to watch the next time, they'd just made her scream louder to compensate.

His thoughts wondering down a dark path he hadn't noticed that they were now in a quiet tent, just them and the Doc. It was only as Starbuck fainted dead away that he came back to himself. As he caught her before she hit the ground he considered her strength and resolve to have got this far without collapse, he knew it was only her decimated pride that had kept her upright in public.

He thought of what was ahead, of what others would want of them, the full brutal truth. He didn't know if he had it in him to relive the nightmare, he didn't know if he wanted to. And he wasn't sure he wanted to explain exactly why the Cyclons had been so brutal to their "special" one.

x-x-x-x

Hours later Saul was sitting by her bedside, freshly showered and treated, white bandages peaking out below his cuffs, steri strips holding a nasty wound on his forehead closed and dark bruising running down his cheek. But, all in all he looked a picture of health compared to Kara, swathed in bandages and plaster, exposed skin mostly mottled in shades of yellow, black and purple. As he sat and held her hand he took simple pleasure in just watching her chest rise and fall as she breathed, for a few moments back in that hellhole he thought he'd lost her. Tears springing to his eyes as he remembered the helplessness paralyse him as she lay crumpled and fighting for breath.

He shook his head, pushing the nightmare vision to the back of his mind, once more concentrating on the fact they had both made it. But at what price, he knew he'd never be the same, that he'd look at her and not always be able see the invincible Starbuck, he knew there would be times when despite whatever front she was bound to put up, he'd still see be able to see her on her knees, naked, bleeding, crying, begging them to stop, to just kill her. He couldn't shake it and he hated them for it, for knowing that they had won on that score at least, they had broken her.

His other hand swiped at the tears he suddenly found leaking from his traitorous eyes, his anger turning from the Cylons to himself, his failure to stop them, his guilt at her suffering just kept eating away at him until he couldn't see past the rage. The instrument tray went flying across the room as he launched his fist at it, the crashing sound bringing the Doc rushing into the room. Yet still she slept on, sedated for her own good according to Cottle.

"Sorry Doc, didn't mean to alarm you". He slumped back into the chair, taking her hand once more, not making eye contact with Cottle at all.

Cottle took in the scene, righted the tray then pulled up a chair on the opposite side of her bed. Her right arm in a cast lay in front of him and he found himself gently stroking her shoulder, the contact assuring him she was just sedated. After a quiet moment he looked directly at Saul,

"Want to tell me happened Colonel?". Saul's eyes immediately raised, the panic in them quickly subsiding as Doc continued, "I've seen everything Saul" he gestured at Kara "you need to tell someone, you need to let this out. Tell me what happened Saul, so I can help her. And you."

A deep sigh, "Where do I start Doc?"

Cottle steeled himself, unsure he wanted to hear this, but knowing it was killing Saul. He took a deep breath and settled in for however long was needed.

"How bout you start at the beginning."

Saul kept his eyes on Kara's sleeping face as he began, "They caught me first, I was trying to help her lead them away and instead ran straight into one of the damn Boomer's, frakking strong for such a small thing, had me flat out on my back with a gun at my face before I knew what was going on. Next thing I knew they're yelling at Starbuck to stop or they'd shoot"

_.................2 months earlier......................_

_"You better come out Starbuck or the Colonel here is gonna be missing his face. Throw out your weapon, put your hands up and get out here. You've got 5 seconds. One…." The Boomer model standing over Tigh continued to count slowly, steadily "Two…..Three…."_

_"Don't you dare Starbu…" Tigh's attempt at warning her off earned him a rifle butt to the head, dazing him._

_"Four…." A rifle clattered to the ground directly in front of Boomer. An annoyed shout followed it,_

_"OK, leave him alone, I'm coming out." Starbuck was true to her word, hands raised above her head as she stepped out into the open, her eyes immediately meeting Tigh's, annoyance and relief mixed as she saw he was ok. "Let him go, I've done what you wanted, now let him go"_

_A voice behind her dashed her hopes._

_"I don't think so Starbuck, two for the price of one, we cant argue with that". Leobon stood behind her, smirking as she started to turn to face him, his fist unleashing across her face before she had time to react sending her to the ground._

_Tigh watched from his prone position as the blond cylon advanced on Starbuck as she rose to her knees, the cylon's leg lifting high then stamping down on her shoulder blades, driving her back to the ground and robbing her of breath before wrenching her arms behind her and cuffing them together. Tigh had attempted to go to her aid, instead he found himself in the same position with Boomer restraining him._

_"Damnit, let me up. Starbuck, you ok?" His voice was gruff with concern, he hadn't seen Starbuck get beaten down so easily, ever. His only reply was her pained cough as she tried to pull air back into her lungs. Within seconds they faced each other, kneeling twenty feet apart, with Cylons at their backs. Evidently Kara had found her voice, frustration clear in her tone._

_"You should have left Colonel."_

_Leobon grabbed a handful of hair and yanked her head back painfully, his gaze over her head to Saul._

_"Yes Colonel, you should have left, really, you're not going to like what happens next." With that he pulled Kara to her feet by her hair before spinning her to face him, a crushing grip on her upper arms holding her in place as he took in the poorly masked fear in her eyes. "And you Starbuck, I've been waiting to get my hands on you for so long. Now its my turn to be the inquisitor. What do you think, you ready for some role reversal little girl?"_

_He read her move before she even made it, as her knee shot up towards his groin he blocked it with his leg, her retort dying on her lips as he drove his knee up into her groin, he knew that it was an effective move on male or female opposition, his theory proved as she couldn't help a pained yelp as she bent double. He let her go and as she dropped to the floor his knee slammed once more into her face, her body thrown onto her back with the force, blood starting to gush from her nose as she landed on her pinioned arms._

_Tigh was incensed, his attempts to get to her thwarted by the unfeasibly strong Boomer model holding him in place so he could only watch as Leobon straddled the dazed pilot, dropping to sit on her legs, leaning down to whisper something in her ear before once more yanking her up onto her knees. Tigh could see a shadow of fear in her eyes that hadn't been there five minutes ago._

_The last thing he saw was the blood staining her tanks a deep red before a rough hood was pulled over his head and drawn around his throat. The sudden loss of vision had totally disoriented him and he wavered as he was pulled upright and pushed forwards. Not being able to see in front of him and not having hands free to feel the way was such a new, frightening concept and he couldn't help but take smaller steps to compensate. But, the cylons were evidently in a hurry to leave and so he found himself pulled along faster and faster, up some steps and then he was pitched forward. Off balance he found himself landing face down on something soft, though as he recognised the pained "oof" he realised he'd landed on Starbuck._

_Before he had a chance to move he heard the slam of metal doors before the ground moved causing him to once again topple forward onto Starbuck. Simultaneously he realised they were in a vehicle of some sort and that he really, really needed to get off her. Rolling over sideways he hit hard flooring, and the side of the vehicle._

_Deciding to stay still and get his bearing he heard laboured breathing next to him. "You ok Starbuck? Sorry 'bout that landing there."_

_He heard her chuckle, a strange sound given their predicament, but so totally Starbuck. "You're supposed to fall at my feet Colonel, not on me"._

_He found himself smiling, realised she couldn't see him though, a thought occurred to him._

_"You got a hood as well?"_

_"Yeah, motherfrakkers. Are you ok Colonel?" He thought he heard genuine compassion._

_"I asked first Major, how's your head"._

_There was a pause as he heard her moving around, "I've had worse. We need to get out of here Colonel. I mean, like now. I'm gonna…" Tigh was frustrated at not being able to see when he heard her get cut-off before he heard a hollow thud. He had no more time to ponder exactly which part of her had been hit this time when he found out as his own head was shoved hard into the van side behind him. His grip on unconsciousness faded into blackness._

Present day

Tigh had paused in his recitation. He looked away from Kara's face for the first time, glanced up at Doc, a wry smile flitted across his sombre features.

"I guess that was the easy part. Didn't seem it at the time, you know. But, looking back, it was nothing. Next time I woke up they started on the rough stuff."

Doc handed him a glass of water, settled back into his chair, recommenced touching her shoulder then watched as Saul got sucked back down into his memories.

x-x-x-x

_2 months earlier_

_Tigh came to gradually, his senses coming back to him in stages. First he realised he was cold, the cold steel ground and wall he was laying against chilling him. A close second was pain, a thumping headache radiating out from the base of his skull that had been slammed into the van side though he noted his restraints were gone, as was the hood. Next was sound, silence greeted him, except for strained breathing he realised was not his own. He could only both hope it was Starbuck, and wonder at why it was so laboured. Last came vision. Behind his closed eyes he could tell it was brightly lit wherever they were. He slowly opened his eyes, hoping to figure out what was going on before they realised he was awake._

_He saw nothing for a long time until his eyes adjusted. He took in the four metals walls and metal door opposite him in one glance. His eyes though were drawn to his right where Starbuck was knelt down facing the wall, wrists still cuffed tightly together behind her. As he looked closer he realised she wasn't just facing the wall, she was absolutely knee to nose pressed against it. The laboured breathing made sense as he realised a classic stress position when he saw it. It was unnatural to be flush to a wall like that, with arms bound it was damn near impossible, the strain on the thighs unbearable after only a few minutes. He wondered how long she'd been like that, and then he wondered why she stayed like that when evidently there was no-one else in the cell._

_Sure they were alone he started to get to his knees, to shuffle over to her. As he got closer he saw the sweat running down her temples, her eyes scrunched closed in pain, obviously she'd been like this for a while._

_"Starbuck, whats going on, let me help you." His hand gentle on her shoulder._

_He saw her eyes pop open, her neck painfully whipping round to face him. "Damnit Colonel, lie back down, don't let them see you awake"._

_But it was too late, Boomer strode into the room, pulled Tigh away from Starbuck before grabbing a handful of her hair and forcing her face back against the wall, grinding her cheek into the metal. "I told you Kara, don't you frakking move until I say so."_

_"Leave her alone" Tigh wasn't foolish enough to make a move on the cylon but he wanted to divert attention away from Starbuck. "Its my fault she moved, come talk to me about it"._

_Boomer turned to him but didn't relent on the pressure on Kara. She smiled at him, the smile didn't reach her cold eyes. "You don't get it yet do you Colonel. This isnt about you, none of this is about you. You're here as a mistake. You'll come in handy no doubt" she looked down at Starbuck briefly "but you're not our primary concern. Don't make yourself one"._

_She turned her address to Kara. "You stay like that until I say so Kara, no second chances this time, you move, you know whats gonna happen. Now don't move." She glanced once more at Tigh. "And you, don't touch her, don't help her. You won't like the consequences"._

_Once Boomer had left the room again he heard a small whimper from Starbuck as she tried unsuccesfully to shift her weight to take pressure off her aching thighs._

_"Gods damnit, whats going on here Starbuck."_

_"Seems I have a habit of pissing off the toasters Sir. Just don't give them an excuse ok Colonel. Do as they say". Her voice wavered with the strain of her position._

_"This is wrong Starbuck. Damned wrong. You expect me to just sit here and watch you. Like that?" His frustration and anger clear._

_"We have no choice Colonel. I'm fine, we've both had worse at boot camp and you know it. I need you to be thinking straight ok, find us a way out"._

_Under his breath he muttered "Frak this" before kneeling down next to her, carefully pressing his body from knee to nose against the wall and clasping his hands behind him. He saw her glance his way._

_"Colonel, what the frak are you doing?" her voice somewhere between annoyance and humour._

_"All for one Starbuck, I told the Chief, you're not having all the fun." He looked at her, saw the smile briefly cross her lips, knew he'd had the desired effect._

_"Out of your frakking mind, Sir."_

Present

He looked straight at Doc then.

"It seemed a good idea at the time. I mean I couldn't just sit back, relax and watch her like that. She was crazy to think I would. So we stayed like that for a while and I don't mind telling you it hurt more than I ever remembered, and I hadnt been like that for long. I tell you Doc I used to think she was just a glory seeker, a jock pilot with some luck, some skill, but no regard for teamwork, no loyalty to anyone or anything."

He shook his head, glanced back down at her bruised face as he composed his thoughts.

"Turns out she'd already saved my life by her actions and I didn't even know it. Didn't find out until much, much later. I couldn't figure out how they'd got her to stay in that position, I mean you know her, doesn't do a damned thing you tell her to. Yet here she was willingly staying in a stress position? Weirdest damned thing, at the time I thought she was scared of them. Didn't realise she was protecting me, scared for me."

Another tear wiped away in anger.

"They'd apprently decided to kill me you see, but she wouldn't let them. Caused herself a world of hurt after that when they realised they could control her by using me. I don't make a good damsel in distress Doc, not for anyone, and that's what hurts most of all now. I was, am, her superior officer, I should have been protecting her, instead shes saving me? The whole frakking world is upside down you know. I wish I'd known then, I would have done something about it, hell I would have let them kill me if I'd known to spare her from being held hostage like that. I didn't find out until last week."

He faded there, Doc realised something signifcant had indeed happened one week ago, previous mention of Kara's arm being broken at that time and Saul's haunted look. He needed to know, but he didn't want to know at the same time. He wanted to ask Saul but decided to let him tell the story, there was plenty of time.

"So what happened next Saul?"

He could see Tigh cast his mind back again, to the horror of the beginning of their captivity.

_2 months earlier_

_Three days had passed by slowly since Saul first awoke, punctuated by visits from Boomer or Leobon, sometimes both. They were doing everything they could to mentally break down Kara, and by default Saul. Stress positions were interspersed with bouts of utter darkness, followed by freezing cold, sometimes periods of unberable heat in the cell, and occasional hours of high pitched alarm sirens, continuous noise._

_Through it all they kept Kara in some form of restraint. Metal cuffs behind her back, roped wrists suspended from the ceiling, occasionally leather cuffs around her ankles followed by upside down suspension._

_Saul had done his best to match her discomfort, the stress positions easy to replicate, if not easy to endure. He had particularly hated the standing flat backed against the wall, arms outstretched horizontally infront of him. And that while the heat was unbearable in the cell. However, he was more than aware that he still had it relatively easy as he finally broke the position for a second to wipe the trickle of sweat that had been making his nose itch for the past hour or so. As he moved his arm painfully back out front he glanced across to Starbuck, eyes closed, lost in concentration, evidently finding it much tougher with wrists chained together and an inhumanely heavy weight attached to them._

_During the three days the only physical contact from the cylons had been to hold Saul at bay in a corned as they re-positioned Starbuck into their next torturous position. Not once did she resist and as time passed he grew more and more frustrated with her, her lack of fight angering him beyond belief. He called her on it now as he watched her strain against the heat and the position, his own arms dropping to his sides, his fists clenching._

_"OK, that's enough now Starbuck, you have got to fight this. I never thought you were a coward before this, but you've given up. What the hell's the matter with you? Where's the fight gone?"_

_He saw her arms waver, her eyes spring open at the 'coward' jibe. Her look was one of hurt, one of pain, but also one of resignation._

_Her voice was low, rough. "I'm no coward, Sir. Think what you like, but don't call me that."_

_He snorted. "Show me then Starbuck, stop doing this, stop giving in to them. Fight damnit". He'd moved up infront of her and placed his hands on hers lightly. "This isn't gonna stop. We have to make a move now, get out of here while we still can. There isn't gonna be any rescue, you know that. The Old Man, Apollo, they're long gone Kara, there's just us. Please, promise me you'll fight with me next time they come in."_

_She shook her head, her arms trembling underneath his touch, her breathing ragged with the strain. "I can't"._

_He spun away from her, stalking over to his side of the cell, and he sat down, no longer mirroring her position. He couldn't even look at her as he spoke._

_"Then you're on your own now Starbuck. I wont do this anymore. You wanna hurt then go ahead, let them string you up like some puppet, you act the martyr all you like. I'm not playing anymore."_

_He saw her eyes close again, and a lone tear track over her bruised cheek, so un-Starbuck-like it shocked him. But, he remained firm to his belief in her cowardice, he worked on his own plan for escape, with or without her._

_From then on he ate and drank what they gave him, no longer refusing because they didn't offer her the same. Each time she would close her eyes, unable to watch. Each time he would push down the guilt with the weight of his anger._

_A further three days passed, and on the sixth day she could take no more. Unable to remain in the last position, feet spread, standing, leaning on outstreched arms towards the wall. With a soft cry she collapsed to the ground, whimpering miserably as she curled up around her aching arms. Saul watched her fall, heard her cries and finally moved past his anger to recognise her anguish. He shuffled over to her to check on her._

_Just as Tigh had lent over to check her pulse Leobon burst into the room, grabbed Tigh by the back of the neck and launched him into the wall across the cell. Dazed and unable to move Tigh could only watch as the cylon unleashed a battering onto him rendering him unconcious._

Present day

Doc winced as he imagined the scene. He could see the guilt pouring off Saul as he relived calling her a coward, only now realising she had been saving him all along.

"Not to be too blunt, but one thing Saul, if he beat you up when she collapsed, how come you didn't realise that you were the anvil round her neck?"

As Saul opened his mouth to speak, another weary voice piped up.

"Because by the time the Colonel woke up, I was black and blue aswell. Seems the toasters didn't want to give up the leverage at that point". Her sarcasm was painful to hear.

Both men snapped their gaze to deep chocolate eyes as Kara spoke. She gave Saul's hand a tired squeeze, all of a sudden shy.

"Hey Saul, guess we got rescued after all?".

He'd never grinned harder in his entire life.

"Yup, guess I was wrong."

"Again."

Doc chuckled, amazed she was awake so soon.

"So how long have you been eavesdropping Starbuck?"

Her smile disappeared, "Long enough Doc. Think its about time I helped with story time, fill in the blanks."

Saul maintained his hold on her hand, his gaze trying to hold hers, but she dropped her eyes first. "You don't have to do this Kara, let me tell him."

Quietly, but firmly. "No, one for all remember. Where were we?".

Saul gave her a sad look. Obviously finding it harder now she was awake to talk about it.

"Just getting to the chair. You sure you want to to do this now?"

She visibly recoiled as her memory went back to that time, but once more she proved her lack of cowardice. "The chair, sure, you were out for most of it anyway. You start, I'll pick it up from where they knocked you out."

x-x-x-x

Present day

Tigh helped her take a drink as he spoke to Doc.

"Time passed Doc. A week, two, it was hard to tell. They left us alone for a while. Turned off the lights and just left. It seemed days passed. Then all of a sudden they'd come back, start with the positions all over again, only this time we both got trussed up."

He noted Starbuck was unable to meet his gaze as she spoke.

"They went back on their deal. Told me I'd broken my word when I'd…collapsed….that I hadn't done everything they'd asked. Told me the Colonel was fair game now. Beat me unconscious when I protested."

Another layer of guilt weighed Tigh down. Looking at her now he knew it was going to be much harder to talk about all of this while she was awake. He stuttered on the next sentence, watching her recoil as the memory came back.

"They uh, they took to putting the hoods back on as well." He had never known she was claustrophobic until this whole damned experience. He tightened his grip on her hand, unable to get her to look at him. "Damn things Doc, made it all a hundred times worse, you couldn't get your bearings you know. Could only really hear your own breathing. And you couldn't see when they came at you either."

Doc noticed everything, the hesitation from Saul, the naked fear in Kara's downcast eyes. He wanted to kill something, or someone. His oath to protect, to do no harm pushed way down inside as he took in the wrecks of the two soldiers in front of him.

"Things changed though when they stepped it up. Until then they'd been toying with us Doc. I guess they wanted some hands on experience."

_1.5 months earlier_

_In what was getting to be annoyingly familiar, Saul woke up wondering where the hell he was and who exactly had run him over. This time the pain wasn't just in his head, his entire body ached, his right shoulder shouting loudest. Once again he extended his senses trying to figure out what was going on. He was unsurprised to feel the cool metal underneath him and behind him, once again he was slumped in a corner of their cell. He did however snap his eyes open pretty damn quick when his hearing kicked in and he could hear the sounds of a ferocious struggle. His vision unimpeded by any hood, he thanked the Gods for that small mercy._

_His heart skipped a beat when he took in the scene. He immediately pushed down his joy to see the old fight back in Starbuck, for clearly she'd given up her passive ways as she launched another parried right hook at the Leobon model. Evidently they were toying with her though as Boomer once more grabbed onto her flailing right arm and wrenched it up her back to join her left arm. Starbuck still struggled to get away even as he could see her arms forced up to the point of dislocation._

_He took in her appearance in a glance, noting the bleeding gash above her eye, the blackening eye and the split lip. None of them had been there before. Her eyes were furious, sparks of anger shooting towards the cylon in front of her. He rejoiced in the fact the fear was gone, her fight was back, all was once again right with the world. Apart from the whole 'held captive by mad toasters' issue._

_He started to raise himself up, determined to help her._

_"Get your hands off her you damned son of a bitch. Pick on someone your own size". He charged at Leobon, knocking him into the wall and to the ground. He concentrated on raining blows down on the perennially smirking cylon, feeling a certain sense of euphoria as he got in a few good shots, enough to draw blood, before he was caught by an explosive uppercut. As he lay dazed on his back he heard Starbuck shouting._

_"Leave him alone, damnit let go of me" he saw her once more struggling to break Boomer's grip, alas she didn't stand a chance. Leobon landed a vicious fist to her solar plexus, immediately her breath was gone and but for the grip on her she would have been face down on the ground. Instead as she gasped for air Leobon punched her once more in the stomach. This time Boomer let her go._

_Saul took pleasure in hearing the cylon gasp for breath as he spoke. "OK you two, enough. We've gone easy on you so far…"_

_Saul caught Kara's gaze, could see a flicker of a raised eyebrow as if to say 'This has been easy'._

_"…But it seems your little resistance friends are gonna force our hand. Seems they've been trying to find you, sniffing around in places they don't belong. The problem is they're actually quite smart, for humans, and we'd like to know more about them. And I guess you two would have a pretty good idea whose running the show back there. So here's the deal, you give us names, we let you go."_

_"You're kidding right?"_

_"Not a hope in hell"_

_Saul and Kara both voicing their disagreement simultaneously. This was something they had spoken about in the cold, dark times. Both agreed that giving up anyone else was out of the question, whatever happened. Saul had hoped his resolve wouldn't be tested._

_That smirk just grew wider, "I was so hoping you'd say that. Boomer, the chair please."_

_Two sets of eyes met, questions in both as to 'what the hell now?'. Both turned to the door to see Boomer appear with a high-backed metal chair, ominously complete with restraints on the arms. As she set it down against the far wall she addressed Saul._

_"Colonel, on your feet please."_

_"What are you gonna do to him, Leobon, leave him alone." Kara was kneeling up now, her arm curled protectively over her abused midsection._

_The cylon chuckled. "Don't worry Starbuck, we're not gonna hurt him if he does what we say." He turned to the still seated Tigh but aimed his words at Kara. "But we will hurt you if he doesn't"._

_Tigh saw her blanch at his words, then saw the tough soldier front erected once more. He rose, determined not to give them cause, "OK, I'm up, don't you touch her. You hear me toaster boy?"._

_As Boomer forced him into the chair and started strapping down his arms at wrist and elbow Leobon advanced on Kara._

_"Oh Colonel, I'm gonna do far more than touch her. But you get a say in how much its gonna hurt when I do. Now, give me names."_

_Tigh tried to move but found he was effectively immobilised and watched as both cylons advanced on Kara, and cringed when he saw her backing away until her back hit the wall. Her voice was murderous. "Get away from me you frakking…"_

_Leobon grabbed her wrist away from her midsection, used it to twist her body round and slam her face first against the wall bringing her arms up behind her and once more cuffing her wrists together. "Language Starbuck, I don't like you cursing like that, not very becoming you know." He knocked her face into the wall as she started to curse him again. "Infact, lets not give you temptation anymore." With that Boomer gagged her._

_As they spun her back around Saul could see the fury on her face._

_"Come on Colonel, names if you please."_

_He watched as she shook her head, her eyes threatening him harm if he spoke. He'd had no intention of doing so, but knowing she was putting herself on the line for this absolved him of some of the guilt._

_"I don't know what you're talking about". He held eye contact with Leobon above Kara's head, watched as the cylon seemed pleased with his answer._

_"Very well Colonel, don't say we didn't warn you."_

_They went to town on her. While Boomer held her from behind, Leobon took great pleasure in raining blow after blow on her torso and face. Pained whimpers escaped from around the gag though Saul could clearly see her trying to hold them in, he was fairly sure for his benefit. From out of pockets they produced tazer stun guns. Boomer fired one into her kidneys first, her entire body writhed in the shock, dropping to the floor when the current stopped. Again and again Boomer pushed the weapon into her, burning her skin on contact, from collarbone to ankle. By now Starbuck was barely conscious, tears openly streaming down her face, blood flowing from numerous cuts and scrapes._

_Leobon hauled her to her feet, his cruel grip around her throat the only thing keeping her upright. His gaze landed on Saul who tore his own gaze from the battered woman in front of him. "Names Colonel. That's all we want." He shook Kara eliciting more muffled yelps. "This is nothing, nothing compared to what is coming her way. Do you understand Colonel?"_

_Saul seethed, caught between naming his friends, or trying to help the sacrificial lamb. He was seriously contemplating giving false names, anything to buy them time, but he feared that would only make it worse. However, when he glanced at her again she had managed to fix her eyes on his, and through the tears, and the pain, he saw a small flicker of defiance. At that moment he knew he could only make one decision, though his heart would never forgive him, he knew he couldn't betray anyone else._

_"I don't know any names. I can't give you what you want. Let her go. Take me instead, come on, I'll give you a much better fight. Please, just leave her be." He couldn't face her gaze, pinning his eyes on Leobon._

_"See Starbuck, you really are worthless, even the Colonel thinks so." He was nuzzling her bloodied neck. "But you know what Colonel, there's one thing you can't possibly give me that she can." He took a knife from his pocket, held it to her throat, smiling as she tried to pull back, whimpering. "Shh, don't move Starbuck, you wouldn't want me to slip now." And he proceeded to slip the knife under the collar of her shirt, drawing it straight down the front, slicing the material as he went. Kara closed her eyes, held herself rigid though all she wanted to do was fight and Saul was sure he made out a pained "no" from around the gag._

_"Don't do this Leobon, don't do this to her."_

_The cylon ignored him, finishing the slicing with a flourish, pulling the knife outwards at the bottom, watching as the two halves fell open to reveal her skin underneath. He peeled them back to completely expose her battered torso, only her sports bra covering her modesty. Saul glanced at her face, her eyes tight shut, her cheeks burning with humiliation. The cylons voice bringing his gaze back to the knife which now rested at the top of the bra, dipping into her bloody cleavage._

_"What do you think Colonel, she look a little overdressed to you?" And with that he flicked the knife down, totally exposing Kara to everyone on the room. Saul raised his gaze, kept them on the cylons face, refusing to play along. He was acutely aware of the tears once again leaking from Kara's screwed shut eyes, could feel the shame falling off her in waves. He didn't know what to say to make this right, so he went with rage._

_"You frakking bastard. What the hell is this supposed to prove. Frakking pervert now as well as a murderer? You've proved your point now frakking let us go."_

_He could see his words were not getting through to Leobon who was now using his free hand to run across Kara's exposed chest, pawing at her like he'd never seen a woman before._

_"Get your frakking hands off of her". By now Saul was incensed and trying to break free of his restraints, shouting and hurling threats at the oblivious cylon._

_"Boomer, shut him up, I need a little quiet here". And with that Saul was knocked out._

Present day

Doc watched as Starbuck had progressively shut herself off from them, withdrawing her hand from Tigh's, closing her eyes even as the tears fell as Saul continued his account. Twice he'd stopped, refusing to go on until she'd calmed down and made him continue, wanting to get this out and done with much as it destroyed her.

Saul wiped the tears from his eyes, watching as she tried so desperately to distance herself from events so she could tell what had happened next.

"Why don't I give you two a little time, we can continue this in a little while ok."

"No." Her voice stronger than he could have imagined in the circumstances. "Lets get this over with Doc. Just….just be patient ok."

"That's my line"

His attempt at humour fell flat. He decided to face the ugly, obvious question head on instead.

"OK, so, they knocked Saul out. Did he rape you then Kara?"

The silence was so long he didn't think she was going to answer. But, finally, she fixed her stare on his, the hurt killing him as she eventually responded, anger forcing her words. "No Doc. At least not then. They wanted the Colonel to be awake for that. Wanted to completely humiliate me you know."

The tears continued though she seemed to ignore them now, fixed on Doc instead, her rage giving her strength, Doc's heart broke for her as she started her side of things.

"Have you ever been stripped naked against your will Doc?"

x-x-x-x

_1.5 months ago_

_Kara watched as the Colonel slumped over in the chair, held upright only by the bonds securing his arms. Another trickle of blood started its way down his cheek from where Boomer had knocked him out._

_She felt guilty because she was glad he was out cold. At least unconscious he wouldn't be able to witness her further humiliation. She'd thought it bad enough to be getting beaten up by the toasters in front of him, she was Starbuck after all and getting your ass handed to you on a plate was never a good thing, especially when a senior officer was in the same room. That it was the Colonel added to the irony._

_The most senior planet side officer and the most senior Viper pilot left after the desertion of the Battlestar's, out of necessity they'd started to form a friendship. Initially to form the resistance they'd worked well together, and over time they found they had a lot in common, even if they still managed to push each others buttons now and then. After long days of strategy meetings they'd find themselves the only ones left standing and it became a sort of tradition that he would walk her home, the short journey long enough that they started to talk. They had become friends._

_But now there could be no period of grace to compose herself as she'd had down on Caprica after finally getting the Arrow of Apollo. No time to regroup, clean her wounds and pull on her Starbuck mask before showing up and brushing aside her injuries with a smirk and a glib comment about seeing the other guy. No, this time a man she valued the opinion of more than she'd ever thought possible was with her every step of the way. He saw first hand exactly how she sustained every injury, watched her reaction to the infliction of pain, and heard every grunt of pain, every whimper of fear, every scream of agony as it happened. No matter how much she tried, he saw straight through her failing attempts at bravado. And at the end of the day, he started to see her as Kara, and not Starbuck._

_It was that that scared her more than anything else. She always thought of Kara as the scared little girl still afraid of her mother. Kara was the weak young instructor that caused the death of the only man she'd ever truly loved because she didn't want to disappoint him like she'd disappointed everyone else. Kara was the girl who'd been duped by cylons before, who'd had gods knew what done to her, taken from her. Kara was weak. But Kara was who the Colonel was getting to know, no matter how hard Starbuck tried to push her aside._

_She was pulled out of her reverie abruptly as Leobon slammed her back against the cell wall, a powerful hand on her throat keeping her upright. His other hand continued to roam over her chest, tracing the patterns of bruises and blood with the tip of the wickedly sharp knife, not cutting, just lightly skimming her skin. Still in pain from the beating and tazer shocks and limited by the gag she found it difficult to calm her breathing enough that her chest stopped heaving, trying to minimise the chance of getting cut._

_As the knife came to rest over a particularly colourful bruise over the side of her left breast, Leobon looked up into her eyes, holding her poorly disguised frightened gaze._

_"Its amazing really Kara. You created us to be just like you, living, breathing, bleeding copies of humans. And it worked, you've seen me bleed, and even sweat." He winked at her as he continued. "But, for all that, for all your attempts to make us like you, we still don't feel like you, not really. We're all a little too perfect. A little too….manufactured. We may act like you, but we don't feel, we don't have emotions like you. Sure, we try, but how do you recreate things like pleasure….." he sliced down, cutting a shallow gash down across her ribs, a trickle of blood escaping the torn flesh. "…or pain". He didn't take his eyes off hers as she bit down on her gag to stop from giving him the pleasure of a sound. He watched her like a child watches a toy, trying to figure out how it works._

_"You made me bleed Kara, and I felt what you would call pain. When you hit me it hurt, when you tried to drown me I could feel my lungs screaming for air. But I knew that I didn't have to feel that. But I did, I kept on feeling it. And it fascinated me. Why would you create us to feel like that? What drove you to give your creation such a sensation?" The knife moved across her stomach, pausing on a boot mark clearly imprinted on her flesh. "And then I realised, it was your idea of control. You couldn't just create us to do the jobs you didn't want to, you had to have a control mechanism. And you couldn't just kill us, that would be abhorrent to your morals. So you gave us pain, so that you could moderate our behaviour if we ever went wrong."_

_The knife moved on coming to rest on her collarbone, his eyes not once leaving hers._

_"It fascinates me still. I can see the path of things Kara, I know what the future holds, for you, for me, for everything. Yet still I have curiosity. Why do you think that is? To know that what will be will be, but to still want to experience every second. Curiosity, I wonder why you gave us that aswell. And I feel sorry for you that you did. You see I have this curiosity, this desire for you Kara. It was always destined to be, you would always eventually come to me like this, you and I were meant to be. We are to be the first of a new generation Kara, the parents of a new race."_

_He watched the glimmer of despair wash over her eyes, blink and you'd miss it, but it was there._

_"Even now I see you think you can beat me, that you can get out of this. But you and I both know its not to be. You and I, we are meant to be together. Last time was a mere prelude to this, a gentle introduction. I want to experience your pain Kara."_

_And now the knife fell to the waistband of her pants. A quick slice and she felt the fabric loosen around her hips. Adrenaline flooded her system as she refused to believe this could be happening, refused to allow this damned machine to do this to her any longer. Still held against the wall by her throat she used the only option, her leg striking out against his knee. He buckled, tilted to the right but held himself upright using his grip on her, the pressure on her throat shutting off her air, black spots danced dangerously in her vision. The pressure relented slightly, his amused eyes found hers once again. The knife waved back and forth across her vision._

_"No Starbuck, you don't get out of it that easily. You stay awake and aware unless I want you otherwise."_

_The knife once more dropped out of her sight as he spun her around, flattening her now face first against the wall and into the waiting hands of Boomer, her hands gripping Kara's bare shoulders from behind like a vice. Kara heard the voice of what she once considered her best friend over her shoulder, the tone condescending, so unlike the copy back on Galactica._

_"Don't fight this Kara. You know I'm looking forward to this, to study you, to be here at a moment in history."_

_Kara's attention was diverted at that moment, Leobon had taken the opportunity of having his hands free to divest her of the rest of her clothes, pants and shorts both pulled away from her legs in one._

_Her mind went into melt down as Boomer yanked her away from the wall and held her close against her chest, a steel arm across her throat keeping her struggles at bay. Sheer disbelief rattled around her head as she realised she was now naked and exposed in a harshly lit room at the mercy of two obviously insane toasters. Once again she thanked the Gods she was starting to lose faith in that Tigh was out cold. Her humiliation was total at that moment in time, shame reddened her chest, up her neck and across her cheeks, an outward manifestation she could not prevent and she once again cursed her blond colouring._

_In her head she knew she shouldn't find nakedness an issue. The military life soon drummed out any shyness and for years now she'd been stripping down with the rest of her unit, male and female. After the first couple of red faced attempts it just became a way of life and had never been an issue again. But in her heart she knew this was entirely different. This forced nakedness, the deliberate and forceful removal of her clothes was designed only to humiliate and embarrass. To expose her to her captors and anyone else who might look. To strip away her sense of self and security._

_And right now she knew it had worked to devastating effect. Unable to even attempt to cover herself, arms still bound behind her, she had no recourse, no method of preserving any dignity. And as Leobon stood in front of her and just ran his eyes up and down her form over and over again, the shame built, pushing aside the anger._

_Eventually Leobon tore his gaze away from her body back to her eyes, he smirked as he saw her downcast gaze and the signs of one or two tears that had escaped her control. He stepped into her personal space, his hands on her hips, a cruel parody of a lovers embrace._

_Kara felt utterly trapped between the two machines, she could feel Boomer's body pressed against her back in more than a friendly way and now he was right up in her face. She was totally out of any choice, and control over her own being. No matter what she tried it would not get her out of this situation. She felt hope slip away to be replaced by utter despair, and fear, a fear so all encompassing she could no longer prevent herself from shaking._

_"Look at me Starbuck." His voice soft, so soft, almost a caress._

_She kept her eyes down. She refused to look at him, to show him so directly her fear._

_His voice rose, the frakker obviously enjoying himself._

_"Come on Starbuck, look at me, you know you want to"._

_Even though the gag he could make out a quiet, resigned "frak you"._

_"Not just yet Kara, wouldn't want the Colonel to miss the show would we". As he thought, that got her attention as her eyes flashed to his, obviously hoping she'd misheard._

_"You see much as I want you Kara" he pressed his obvious arousal against her as she tried to back away but was held solid by the solid body behind her "I want the Colonel to watch this aswell. Two birds with one stone you see, I get the information I want from your Colonel who will surely give it up if he thinks he can save you from me, and I get to fulfil your destiny Kara. I'm sure if we try enough times, you'll conceive eventually."_

_Her eyes showed him everything he needed as her defences crumbled to show her raw terror. He leant down and kissed her chastely on the forehead._

_"I'll give you a little time to prepare."_

_And with that he and Boomer let her go and left the room without bothering to untie her or the Colonel._

_She staggered to the nearest corner and used it to help her slide ungracefully down to the floor with her arms out of commission behind her back. The shock of the cool metal on her exposed skin breaking goose bumps out across her flesh. She pushed into the corner, drawing her knees up in front of her, trying to hide her nakedness._

_As she sat there numb and in shock her eyes rested on the figure of Tigh, slumped over in the chair. She realised she was angry at him, furious infact. If he had just gone out the sewer pipe when he had the chance she wouldn't be in this mess. Gods damn him, why couldn't he just listen. Her misdirected anger pulling her thoughts away from what was to come._

_It was only as the lights went out and she was left with the afterimage of the cell behind her eyelids that she realised she was crying._

_Barely five minutes later the lights came back on. Kara pressed herself further into the corner, huddled up as tight as her bound arms and sore ribs would let her. She glanced towards Tigh, realised he was just starting to come round, his groan signalling his raising consciousness. She dreaded him opening his eyes and catching sight of her cowering in the corner but she couldn't bring herself to unwind even a fraction, the terror of the last few minutes still causing shock to shiver through her. Her tears had stopped but the evidence of them stood out plainly, tracks through the blood and grime._

_She wasn't sure what she dreaded more, the return of Leobon or the disgust and disappointment she feared Saul would have when he saw her. She wasn't sure she could stand that after they'd come so far to be friends._

_As it happened there was no time to find out what he would say as the door opened just as the Colonel caught sight of her. His eyes widened, glancing over her nakedness in a split second before coming to rest on her watery eyes, her poorly constructed veneer of indifference transparent to him. He could see the hurt and fear lingering there._

_"My Gods Kara, what have they done to you." His voice no more than a whisper._

_She dropped her eyes, unable to take his pity just as Leobon reached out and pulled her up with a fist full of hair, holding her upright and exposed in front of the Colonel._

_"Play time Starbuck"._

Present Day

Kara stopped abruptly, unable to go any further. The memory overwhelming her, the situation too fresh, the trauma still fresh on the surface.

Saul filled the silence, taking her hand, trying to bring her back to the present, to remind her they were out, that it was over.

"Kara, come back to me, come on Starbuck…." Her gaze slowly met his, silent tears spilling over onto her cheek. He wiped them away gently mindful of her bruised face. "That's enough now, you need some sleep."

Her lack of protest as he helped settle her down surprised Cottle, he'd never seen her so compliant, especially in sickbay. He was getting more and more concerned about her mental state, but he knew not to push right now. He simply moved back, letting them have some space. Tigh leant over and kissed her forehead as he stroked her hair off her face, the moment altogether too private, he left the room.

When Tigh joined him outside of the curtain minutes later they saw the Adama men peering in from outside. Cottle raised his hand to stop the questions but ushered them and Tigh into his office, or the curtained off area at the back of the tent he called his office. They were far enough away to talk without disturbing his one and only patient, but within distance to keep an eye on her.

Before anyone could speak he produced a bottle of stashed ambrosia from his desk drawer, found four glasses and poured four good measures. Gesturing to take one the men picked them up, except Saul whose gaze was firmly fixed on the curtain shielding Starbuck from view. His gaze interrupted as Cottle waved a glass in front of him. He took it, downed it in one, his gaze still not leaving that curtain.

"You OK Saul?" Bill laid his hand on his second's shoulder, his concern evident in his tone.

"I'm not the one you need to worry about Admiral."

Silence reigned until Lee couldn't take it anymore. "Doc, can I see her."

Cottle recognised the pleading tone in Lee's voice. Shaking his head he replied. "Not right now Commander, she needs her rest."

"Just one minute Doc…"

Saul cut in this time. "I think you should know what happened before you go see her Lee. She's gonna need a lot of help right now and you blazing in there being all overprotective isn't gonna help her."

Lee bristled. "With all due respect Colonel, I've been though this with her before, I know how to handle her when…"

"No, no you haven't, not like this." Saul stood, got in Lee's face, his finger pointing into his chest with every word. "You weren't there Captain, you didn't see what they did, you didn't see them…." He gathered himself, took a step back, calmed his tone "I just think you need to hear all of it first. And I don't want her to have to go through it all again right now. OK, can you understand that?".

Lee didn't recognise Tigh at that moment, couldn't understand when he and Starbuck had become close. But given the circumstances, he'd give him the benefit of the doubt, for now. "OK Colonel, can you tell us what happened then?".

Saul took his seat again, glancing once at her curtain, turning away as he prepared to reveal their shared pain to these closest of allies. He knew he had to do this, to spare her this pain again, but he knew it was going to rip him apart. But, it was the least he could do for her now, Gods knew he couldn't do anything before.

"You better sit down."

Saul summarised what he'd already told Cottle, a very brief update, Lee and Bill's face becoming paler as he laid out the situation. After getting everyone on the same page he picked up where she'd left off, him tied down, her naked and in the hands of Leobon.

"She was terrified you know, I could see in her eyes that she knew what was coming, knew that she couldn't possibly stop them. She was standing there right in front of me, covered in blood, naked as the day she was born, looking at me, her eyes begging me to help her. And I couldn't frakking move." Cottle had poured him another two fingers, it disappeared as quick as the first, old habits died hard.

"You know he made her stand there stripped in front of me to try and humiliate her, but you know what, all I saw was her face. I wouldn't do that to her, she's young enough to be my daughter and he thought I'd look her over…..animals…she looked so small standing there….so..so.." he struggled to get his point across "she's a girl you know, underneath the flight suit, underneath her damn attitude, she really is just a girl, and she looked so small and fragile, standing there in front of him, just a kid".

He paused, running a battered hand across his tired eyes, his glance once again slipping to her curtain.

"They'd really worked her over you know, blood all over her, and there was this boot print over her ribs, a perfect print…" he pulled himself up, realising he was getting sidetracked, subconsciously trying to avoid carrying on.

"Anyway, you have to understand, the rest of it, I'll tell you so she doesn't have to. You get angry, you get angry with me. She's got enough going on and she's more scared of your reaction than you can imagine. This goes no further, anything I tell you stays here unless she says otherwise. You hear me."

Solemn nods from the other men, the tension palpable in the room, Saul's stern warning sending alarm bells ringing in each mans mind, they had seen her during the rescue, she looked hurt, but they could only dread what had really happened, they knew their worst fears were to be realised.

Saul picked up the story, fully aware he was going to break his friends hearts.

"This was the first time the blond cylon bitch came in, the one we knew as Shelley Godfrey, they called her Six. Kara told me of their history later on but it was obvious from the get go they had a history."

_1.5 Months Ago_

_Saul was still in shock seeing a very naked, very scared Starbuck held up in front of his eyes. Next thing he knew Shelley Godfrey came into the cell, dressed in skin-tight black and a nasty grin spreading across her face as she took in Leobon and Kara. His eyes shot back to Kara's face which had impossibly gone another shade paler, her eyes closed just longer than a blink, a muffled "Frak me" through the gag as she saw who had come in._

_Six stopped directly in front of Kara, blocking Saul's view of her so all he could see was the cylon haul off and throw a mean right hook across Kara's jaw followed swiftly by a vicious punch to her stomach._

_"That's for the Farm, bitch"_

_Kara was desperately trying to suck in air, the gag restricting her intake, Leobon still gripping her shoulders, watching her with curiosity as she writhed in pain. He yanked her back upright clamping an arm across her collarbone, any retort she tried to get past the cloth in her mouth replaced by a muffled yelp when without any warning Six stepped into her personal space and thrust her hand between Kara's legs, invading her most private of places._

_Kara's eyes screwed tight in pain and shock as the cylon lent in towards her._

_"You're finally gonna fulfil your destiny Starbuck. Though I suggest you loosen up a little.." a twist of her wrist eliciting a cry from Kara "…or this is going to hurt."_

_Saul watched speechless, not believing he was seeing this most intimate of violations played out in front of him._

_A tear squeezed out past her screwed shut eyes as Kara tried to move back and away from the cylon, but held in place by Leobon and impaled by Six she had nowhere to go, her cries of distress breaking Saul's heart, but delighting the sadistic Six._

_"Look at me Starbuck"._

_No response, Kara lost in her misery._

_Six gave another push of her wrist, her body weight behind this one and Saul watched as the force rocked Kara back into Leobon even as she opened her eyes, looking into the cruel gaze of her nemesis. Naked fear clear in her expression, all pretence at bravado gone, this violation a step too far._

_The evil grin plastered across Six's face. "That's better. You're ours little girl, this.." another twist, another yelp of agony "…is ours. Your destiny awaits Kara, you should be so proud, you're the chosen carrier of the new generation. You will bear the child that starts the next evolution. No immaculate conception here though, we're gonna make this child the good old fashioned way, whether you like it or not."_

_She pulled her hand back, Kara sagged in relief, watching in disgust as Six wiped the blood from her hand on Kara's chest, all the while keeping her eyes on Kara._

_"She's all yours Leobon."_

Present Day

It all happened so quick. That was the lasting impression in Saul's mind. Just for a moment blocking out the horror of the situation he could reflect on how fast that first time went. After weeks of slow drawn out abuse it was almost clinical.

Not that that really mattered, it had just surprised him. Of course looking back now he could see it meant nothing. The first time was all about Leobon, about how he had waited so long, about how much he believed in his destiny, and in her part of it. He rushed through it like an over eager schoolboy, desperate to satiate his hunger for her. And though he was quick, he was brutal, keen to assert his power over her in everything.

Even after all this time he still remembered every second of that first assault. Of how Six stood behind him, iron grip pressing him firmly into the chair while telling him to keep watching, keep his eyes open or she would personally snap Kara's fingers again, one for every minute he looked away. It was only much later he realised the 'again' comment and when he'd asked Kara if she knew what that meant he learned that sometimes ignorance was bliss.

In quick succession he had watched as Leobon had untied Kara's hands, her arms falling limply to her side after so long restrained behind her. Before she had time to react he'd thrown her down to the floor, a vicious boot in her solar plexus robber her of breath and of fight as the cylon had retied her hands above her head and attached them to one of the ringbolts welded to the cell floor. He watched as Leobon lent back and sat on her upper legs, preventing her kicking out of him, his hand slowly reaching out to run down her body from her temple to hip, a mocking parody of a lovers touch.

Starbuck had been frantically trying to get free, to buck him off, her unintentional muted cries of distress appalling to hear, any human would have stopped just hearing those, but not Leobon. They obviously delighted him, her pain, her terror, his arousal.

And so, the cylon had finally got on and finished it. Saul would never forget the way Kara's eyes widened as the realisation hit her at that last moment that this really was happening, that she was going to be raped by this man, no, by this machine and that there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

He watched as her gaze landed on his, saw the tears she couldn't help, the plea for help that both knew wouldn't come and his heart broke.

And then as Leobon pushed into her for the first time he watched her eyes screw shut, her head tilt back and heard her scream.

His heart shattered.

After that it had been minutes of soul destroying horror. He kept his gaze on the wall ahead of him, above the writhing flesh on the floor, Six obviously too caught up in the scene in front of them to realise his eye line was not low enough.

He steadfastly stared at that wall, refusing to play their game, trying in any small way to leave her with some dignity. His eye line dropping once or twice when he heard a sharp cry from her, but all he saw was her frame dwarfed by the sleekly muscular cylon who was evidently pounding into her with inhuman force. His eyes back to the wall, even he didn't realise the tears falling from his eyes in a steady stream or the red raw skin circling his wrists where he continued to futilely try to escape his restraints.

And finally with a cry of victory from the cylon it was over.

The bodies stilled.

The damned cylon didn't move off her immediately. He stayed sprawled out over her, and from what Saul could tell, he was still inside her.

Kara's eyes were tightly shut, tears still leaking from under clenched eyelids. Leobon brushed away her tears, tender now, no sign of the so recent brutality. Still she didn't open her eyes, Saul couldn't blame her.

Leobon lent down, right down next to her ear, his body weighing her down as he thanked her and promised her next time would be even better. And then he withdrew from her, stood up, redressed himself, all the while roving his gaze over her broken form, she hadn't moved or opened her eyes. Clearly withdrawn into herself as the only escape method left to her.

Finally tearing his gaze from her he'd turned to Saul, a smirk spread across his features, his obvious joy at what he'd done, at her pain.

"Enjoy the show Colonel?"

That had been the last straw, Saul had let fire with a string of curses, with threats, silencing only when Six had closed off his throat with an iron grip.

Leobon had undone his restraints then but he was powerless to move against either cylon, his vision beginning to gray out. Just before he blacked out Six let him go, and before he had time to gather his wits about him, both cylons left, laughing at the misery they left broken and bleeding on the floor of that cell.

x-x-x-x

In the bed behind the curtain the subject of Tigh's recollection was very much awake, aware and able to hear the conversation. Kara was curled up on her side, shaking and crying silently as Tigh laid out every hateful moment of their incarceration. As she lay there she had nothing but disgust with herself, the very act of pretending to sleep so she didn't have to face telling anyone what happened adding to her overwhelming shame.

She'd never run from anything in her life until now.

Back in that cell she'd had no choice, no ability to run, either from the cylons or from the ever present sympathetic gaze of Saul Tigh. He'd been with her throughout, he'd seen every moment of her weakness, heard every one of her screams and was witness to her demolition and utter submission.

The shame, the humiliation burned deep down.

Rage, anger, they would come, she knew herself well. But right now she could not get past the total loss of self she felt. All the things she valued, her reputation, her physical strength, her attitude, her control, all had been stripped from her. In their place was left the shame and physical pain like she'd never experienced, and didn't know how to handle. The unrelenting agony had shattered her.

As she lay there she couldn't find an inch of skin unmarked by a bruise or a cut or welt. Her cracked ribs made any position impossible to maintain for more than a few minutes, even with the tight wrap Cottle had applied. Sitting up impossible from the pain to areas she didn't even want to contemplate right now. The very act of breathing complicated further by her bruised throat. Her recently set shoulder still ached even through the meds being pumped into her through the IV. The fact it had been dislocated more than once adding to the problem.

And her arm, that broken bone now set and plastered was the worst of all. The constant throb mocking her as she tried so desperately to ignore it. The reason for the break causing more pain than the injury itself, a physical reminder of her inevitable surrender.

_1 week ago_

_Leobon had just finished with her again. The most recent attack in a long line of degradation._

_Kara found herself lying face down on the cold floor, in front of the ever present chair containing Saul. As expected she felt Leobon drag her to her knees as tears fell unchecked over battered cheeks as she shook silently with cold and shock. Head down, she hadn't looked anyone in the eye for weeks._

_She'd reached the end, all fight and resistance gone, a situation she could never had imagined in her worst nightmares had brought her to this semblance of her former self. And so as she watched Leobon once again make a show of loading the gun with a solitary bullet she could take no more._

_Four times they'd played this out, he'd load the gun, one bullet into a six cylinder, spin, lock, muzzle forced against the back of her head, a pause, and then the awful moment when he pulled the trigger. Four times she'd been convinced her time was up, and every time when she heard his mocking laughter she knew the torture was going to continue, she'd cheated death only to suffer a worse fate._

_So this time as she watched him spin the cylinder she spoke up, her voice quiet and rough from her screams, the words stilted as she tried to control her tears._

_"Do it. Just get it over with. Just kill me. Please. Just kill me". Head down, no eye contact even as she heard Saul's sharp intake of breath at her admission._

_As soon as she'd spoken she knew it had been a mistake._

_"OK Starbuck. You don't want to play anymore? How 'bout we play with the Colonel instead?"_

_With that Leobon raised the gun and levelled it at Saul and she knew, was one hundred per cent certain that this time the bullet would fire._

Present Day

Kara wondered if she'd ever forget throwing her aching, abused body between Leobon and Tigh as the cylon pulled the trigger, barely deflecting the shot away from Saul. And she wondered if she'd ever forget Saul's face as they punished her for her interference.

Perfect memory showed her the scene. Six holding her flat against the wall by her throat. Boomer stepping out of the cell after grabbing her wrist and pulling her arm half across the door frame, Leobon watching this as he eased the heavy steel door back and forth between his hands eliciting a nerve grating screech on each movement. And then her final memory before she'd passed out.

Tigh's eyes widening as he started to shout "no" even as she saw Leobon suddenly slam the door closed, smashing her arm between door and frame.

After that she'd been out for several hours, and when she'd come to she'd found herself cocooned in the protective warmth of her XO, both laying against the back wall of the cell, as far from the door as possible.

It was the first time she'd let him continue to hold her once she'd been awake and aware.

And it was the first time she'd been clothed again.

For weeks, ever since the rapes started they had not allowed her clothing of any kind even as Saul stayed fully clothed. In the beginning after that first attack he'd given her his pants and one of his tanks, her desperate need for cover overcoming her self-perceived weakness at accepting his offer. But when Leobon found her dressed again both wished they hadn't bothered.

The cylon had forced Saul to undress her before re-clothing himself. Their initial protests against what would be equally humiliating for them both were abruptly halted when Leobon twisted Kara's arm high up her back, not stopping until with a resounding pop he dislocated her shoulder. After that Saul had no choice but to divest her of his clothes, now not only humiliating for them both but beyond painful for Kara.

They learnt their lesson fast.

Afterwards when they were alone again Tigh had managed to get her shoulder back in its normal position, during which she'd once again passed out. On waking she found herself wrapped in his warm, strong, protective embrace and wanted nothing more than to stay there where she felt safe. But every time she forced him to let her go, unable to accept his help, or his pity.


End file.
